Since I’ve retired as a therapist, I’ve been asked many times not only for referrals of other therapists, but also for tips on how to choose a therapist. Here are some basics to start with.
First, it’s unrealistic to expect a therapist to understand from personal experience every one of the issues and identities you might [...]
Transition and Beyond: Second Edition NOW AVAILABLE
Transition and Beyond: Observations on Gender Identity, Second Edition by Reid Vanderburgh, MA, LMFT
Archive for the ‘Life in Transition’ Category
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by Team-Reid
by Team-Reid
There is a lot of humor to be found in transition, and seeing the humorous aspects of this often-overwhelming process can help trans people navigate their transformation with a sense of proportion. If something amusing has happened to you during the course of your transition, send me your story and I may add it to [...]
by Team-Reid
In 1999, I took a graduate school class titled Paradigms of Consciousness. One class assignment was to write an autobiographical myth. This process was revealing to me, as it allowed me to step back from my transition and write about it in metaphorical form, giving new dimensions to the process and showing me yet again [...]
by Team-Reid
“Normal” is a statistical term represented by the following graph:
This kind of distribution can be found along many dimensions of human experience — height, weight, intelligence, etc. The people at either end of the graph, the 2.5% people, are called outliers.
I have heard a number of comments over the years along the lines of:
“I [...]
by Team-Reid
Dysphoria is a pervasive feeling of discomfort, discontent, or dissatisfaction with life. “Gender dysphoria” is a term that has been around for a couple of decades, specifying gender as the cause for the feeling of dysphoria. Some of the ways people describe the experience include: “I just don’t feel right in a female (or male) [...]
by Team-Reid
A few years ago, I met a transman who began taking hormones the year I was born, 1955. He’s now 75. I was the second trans person he’d met face-to-face (that he knew of); the first was in 1956. This man is so used to secrecy and hiding, it has become second-nature to him. He’s [...]
by Reid Vanderburgh MA, LMFT
Trans Day of Remembrance
The Trans Day of Remembrance was created to honor and memorialize those trans people who have been killed just for being themselves. Honoring the dead keeps us mindful of the need for further work. However, we also need inspiration to keep our hopes high as we continue that work. I would like [...]
by Reid Vanderburgh MA, LMFT
When I was 39, my then-partner came out to me as trans, saying, “I’ve always felt like a man inside, and if I had the money, I’d have an operation tomorrow.” I had not yet realized consciously that I had gender issues of my own, and this remark began a process of my coming to [...]
by Reid Vanderburgh MA, LMFT
When I do educational presentations, the question often arises, “What is the best way to tell children one of their parents is transitioning? Doesn’t it harm the child in some way?” There are a number of variables to consider in answering these questions, but the first answer I give is that children are not harmed [...]
by Reid Vanderburgh MA, LMFT
In the late 1990s, I wrote an article for a queer newspaper in which I said that I thought transition was the most difficult, life-changing process a person could undertake willingly in life. A friend of mine read this article, and commented that she thought the decision to become a parent rivaled transition as a [...]
